Archive for the ‘writing my book’ Category


October 25, 2010

I showed my night class my newly published book tonight, & they erupted into applause. I didn’t have the heart to tell them, it’s my one free copy of my book, and no one can afford to buy it because it is overpriced at $108.00! One thing I’ve realized is, things that happen to you, especially things you achieve, can mean more to OTHER people, than they mean to you. Goals that you meet inspire other people! You may just be relieved as hell to reach the goal, and not feel “inspired” by it in the least. But what I have found is, it inspires OTHER people to meet THEIR goals, or to set a goal they have been thinking about. So I may not make a dime on my published book. But it means a lot to my students. And THAT means a lot to me.


writing a chapter6

October 16, 2010

Okay, so, I finished it and sent it this morning at 1am. I am very relieved and tired. Very happy. Worst fear: they say it is not good enough for the book. In which case, I’ll revise it as a journal article & get it published somewhere else. It’s fine. Learned a lot. Felt fearful I might have a heart attack if I stayed up any later last night, which is how exhausted I was. I am relentless!! Missed my deadline of midnight by 1 hour. Not bad. Helluvalota work in one dang week, will never do that again. Seriously tired now, going back to bed, doing nothing today but eat, relax, sleep, walk, enjoy life…………….

SO HAPPY!!!!!! Book published, journal article coming out this month or next, now a chapter in a book, IN ONE SEMESTER!!!!!!!! Totally rocks. ROCK DA HOUSE, YEAH!

writing again

October 5, 2010

ha ha ha. My book project is completed! It is going to print, I will receive a free copy (the only free one I get) in 8-12 weeks. The cost for my book will be 79 euros. Ha, I figured it out to be about $109. TOO MUCH but it’s not really overpriced. That’s what books cost these days.

So now that it’s finally done…… I can’t really believe it. Anyway, for the next week I have an intense, impossible project to write a chapter for a different BOOK, a 3-vol. series. My chapter is the only one on grassroots efforts (against private prisons). This is a dig. To be only about private prisons is a tough one. But I do have connections already with grassroots groups working on prison reforms, so I’m asking. A few people already answered. I got one great website and a possible interview w/ someone there. Perhaps it will happen. It will be another dang miracle.

So I got my feelings hurt this week as well. One thing I’ve learned. When it happens, it doesn’t matter if it seems like it “should” feel trivial. You feel what you feel. You have to open it up to God and your self and figure it out. Doesn’t matter if it “should” feel trivial. It is what it is. Best to take care of it, nurture your soul, heal yourself, don’t ignore the pain. It’s amazing how therapeutic it is. Pay attention to yourself, healing is important. Before you can put it behind you, you have to feel it, figure out what it is, what happened with yourself to have this reaction. Look for the good and wholesome answer. Love yourself and others.

Back to the writing. Feels good to finally get started on this project. All other meetings have been suspended for the next week and 1/2. And when this project is done, then I am DONE with publishing!! Time to celebrate for awhile. Then I can play with research, look at things I’m interested in, and take my time. Enjoy it. Something different! If I accomplish a journal article (done), a Book (done) and a CHAPTER, in one semester, I never have to publish another dang thing.

book is being printed

September 24, 2010

I spent the entire day today formatting the book and finally uploaded it to the publisher in Germany….. it is supposedly now on its way to being printed. I am waiting for some “catch” to this deal. I can’t even think about the 5-6 years of work that went into completing this project. The story for the last few hours is I had to format the paper to 2 cm margins which meant .7 inches on all sides, then download 3 programs in order to upload the final book as a PDF; did that; was choosing a photo for the cover and their website went down. I couldn’t handle it, shut down, went home & went to bed.

Couple hours later, it all worked fine.

post-a-day sticky notes

September 22, 2010

Here is my stream of consciousness post for the day:

It is 9:30am and I just woke up. I only teach today at 1:00. I will miss campus chapel yet again on a Wed. morning. Chapel is chapel. It is nice to go and feel the communal spirit. Lift voices together to God in song and prayer. But so much of it reminds me of my childhood. Lifting a hymnal and reading the song there, really? Call and response words that someone else wrote down? Someone else’s thoughts on what the Bible means? I know the words of a few hymns and really like them, “His eyes are on the sparrow…” “Holy holy holy, Lord God almighty …” “Praise God from Whom all blessings flow, Praise Him all creatures here below, Praise Him above ye heavenly host, Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost.”

The truth is, I hardly ever get to campus at 10am on a Wed. & it is not my only chance for spirituality during the week. I pray a multitude of times, all day long. I have friends I meet together with during the week, and we often say prayers. I can read the Bible myself and see what I think it means. I have a brain. It used to be the priestly class were the only ones who could actually READ it! They also spent their lifetimes copying it for posterity. Thank you to them. But that is not where we are today.

“The best beloved of all things in My sight is Justice. Turn not away therefrom if thou desirest Me, and neglect it not, that I may confide in thee. By its aid, thou shalt see with thine own eyes, and not through the eyes of others, and shalt know of thine own knowledge, and not through the knowledge of thy neighbor. Ponder this in thine heart; how it behoveth thee to be. Verily, justice is My gift to thee and a sign of my loving-kindness. Set it then before thine eyes.”     –Baha’u’llah, the Baha’i Faith Writings. 

The publisher awaits my final copy of my book. Just checked thru the references last night and cut out about another 6-7 that were no longer contained within the text. Now I need to FORMAT IT by CENTIMETER MARGINS!! I haven’t figured that one out yet.

book to publisher

September 14, 2010

It is sent now to a German publisher. Today I re-read chapters 1-2. I really like my book. I worked like hell on it. What will they say?


September 12, 2010

If I ever publish this book, I will never write another one, ever ever.

Have worked all weekend updating stats because they are now out of date, & making a supposedly impressive table of figures. I have given up on finding clear, simple data for what I need. It is nowhere published in a simple and clear manner. Try to find simple percentages of prison inmates by state and racial groups. Some publish it, some don’t, other data is collected into a huge dataset on some national website, which I’m sorry, I am NOT going to download in order to just get a simple percentage of inmates by RACE per STATE. Then there is the Fedl Bureau of Prisons— for the federal prison population— another whole animal.

I can’t express the total exhaustion that has taken over my life so many times, from trying to write and publish this book. Some professor told me, “Don’t worry, this is not your LIFE WORK.” Well, yes it is. It is my life work. I will never write another book. A couple articles, yes, but no interest in a book.

September air

September 7, 2010

The air is changing. It is still hot during the day, so much so that I turn up the air conditioning (such as it is) in my office. Still hitting 90 in the afternoon. But not for long.

I do not feel much desire to swim in the pool anymore. The water is shivering cold from the cooler night air, which is getting down to the 60s. And it just feels . . . like fall. Kids are all in school, football games are going on, the days are shorter, late afternoon shade covers the pool if I am there past 4.

Dragonflies flit all around the pond, shimmering past you as you walk around it, never lighting on a human being. They are more interested in mosquitos and whatever other little bugs there are near the water. Our little toad who lives in our front yard garden still scurries across the front porch when I come home and jumps into the sandy dirt near the front yard bushes. Lately I’ve noticed humming birds at the neighbor’s feeder. The cranes have left our pond, not sure why. There was a large white one and smaller blue one but they’ve gone. Hawks still swoop and soar high above. Small turtles enjoy the late summer sun, perching on small logs and sticks in the water. I still love where we live.

I bought 2 book cases for $15. each, which add a final touch to the living room. Still need a kitchen table.

I have revised my book once again through chapter 1. Will concentrate on finishing it tomorrow and hopefully get it off to a German publisher who wants it. Cross your fingers. I want to be done with this one.

my “book”

July 22, 2010
The publisher said my book is not really quite up to publication yet. But the editor cannot really spend time talking w/ me about it, since I do not have a contract w/ them. And he really likes the subject. (How I am supposed to figure out what they want when they cannot advise me except in generalities is a sucky business.)
I am feeling many things. This whole academia thing is a racket, and I’m tired of it all. I am close to my limit with things I will put up with, and also my capacity. My choices are to turn the “book” into a number of journal articles, or possibly hire someone to get it into shape for publication. I don’t have money to hire someone, but am going to find out what they charge. This book cannot wait another 2 years for publication. It is getting close to being out of date now. So I either do it this year or not do it. I really don’t know what I’m going to do. I am at my limit with stress over this book & topic, & I’m turning 57 yrs. old. Perhaps my getting a PhD at age 55 was miracle enough. I have a job. I can work on journal articles.
just not sure, and will pray over it,


June 25, 2010

I mailed my book and book proposal to a publisher today.