my “book”

The publisher said my book is not really quite up to publication yet. But the editor cannot really spend time talking w/ me about it, since I do not have a contract w/ them. And he really likes the subject. (How I am supposed to figure out what they want when they cannot advise me except in generalities is a sucky business.)
 
I am feeling many things. This whole academia thing is a racket, and I’m tired of it all. I am close to my limit with things I will put up with, and also my capacity. My choices are to turn the “book” into a number of journal articles, or possibly hire someone to get it into shape for publication. I don’t have money to hire someone, but am going to find out what they charge. This book cannot wait another 2 years for publication. It is getting close to being out of date now. So I either do it this year or not do it. I really don’t know what I’m going to do. I am at my limit with stress over this book & topic, & I’m turning 57 yrs. old. Perhaps my getting a PhD at age 55 was miracle enough. I have a job. I can work on journal articles.
 
just not sure, and will pray over it,
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