Beach house JL14

WED., July 14, 2010

 Yesterday at the beach was tense for me. I realize I feel responsible for everybody. I think it is my personality that makes me tense. I need to rely on other people and not feel like it is only up to me to watch the kids so they don’t drown, a thought which I am obsessive about. We went to the beach late, to avoid the bright sun, arriving at about 6pm. The waves were large and relentless, one after another without a break. The wind was so strong we couldn’t put up the umbrella. I went in for a few mins. w/ Zakiah, then came out and held Naylah after Leah nursed her. I kept fidgeting, trying to get in a position to block her from the wind, also holding the pacifier to her mouth (which she doesn’t do well), and it was just exhausting for me. It was impossible to shield her from the wind. The current was sweeping everyone to the left, which is fine, but they have to realize it and continually get out of the water and walk back to where our towels and things are. The waves were so strong, Caspian could not manage himself in the water, and pretty quickly gave up, staying in more shallow waves and playing w/ Zakiah. Levin, Jean and Raven battled waves for an hour, sometimes catching them and riding in 30 ft. or so. We left by 7:30, Raven & Jean staying another half hour, then we ordered pizza and salad.

 Today it rained a downpour, so we’ve been inside and everyone is getting restless. It has been nice because the guys are all playing chess and we played “Aggravation”. The tv hasn’t been on for a few hours. Jean is now trying to finish a movie. I went out for milk and got caught in the downpour, so sat in the car for 20 mins.

 Z is continually saying “No,” talking back and getting in trouble! He is going through a stage which is very trying on his parents.

 We had our feast last night, which went well. Caspian welcomed everyone, explained the feast, Zakiah asked everyone to “please be seated,” something which he thought up himself, then Caspian opened with singing Blessed is the Spot. We had 3 readings which mentioned the ocean; we sang “O God guide me,” and then we had one reading from the Tao, and 2 Psalms which mentioned the ocean and the sea.

 Caspian thanked everyone for “being a good audience”  and asked people to contribute to the National Fund. Both he and Zakiah asked if they could “send a picture” to the Fund. I said they could send one with our contribution. That was probably the most spiritual moment of all vacation . . . Then we had strawberries, blueberries, ice cream and whipped cream. Caspian wanted to make everyone’s bowl with whichever combination of ice cream and fruit they wanted, & he and Zakiah passed them out to everyone.

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